The Sickening Romanticism of Sibling-Love

I only truly noticed this a few years ago because it struck home (this is too personal for me to write about and too soon). What I'm talking about is the romanticism, fully understandable, put upon siblings, especially brothers and sisters. It shouldn't be surprising that this relationship is a special one, that has its own nuances, its own inherent, mysterious force that no one can really grasp except the siblings themselves. It is in fairy-tales, where the princess is happy to live with her brother and no one else for the rest of her life, or in major motion pictures like Star Wars, where Luke and Leia are enamored with each other almost to the point of romantic love until they find out who their parents are. It's lightly dribbled onto all sorts of writing and film, and it is exclusively there to show that special bond - sometimes completely innocent and precious - sometimes not - that only a brother and sister could have.

Frankly and literally, it makes me sick.

It makes me sick to my stomach and I cannot really pinpoint why. I know there's a good dollop of jealousy in there, because I don't have a sibling myself. I am an only child. So, there's an exclusive element to this sibling-ship that leaves me out. Why this is upsetting to me I can't grasp, although I am aware of it and it has disturbed me less and less as of late. 

This is something I will have to develop and research more to write about. 

I think another thing that makes the "problem" worse is when I'm asked whether of not I have any siblings myself. When I say no, it's just me, and smile - I usually get a look of pity, or else, "that's too bad" or "wasn't it lonely?" It was neither bad nor lonely, nor do I think it is something to be pitied. I loved and love being an only child... except... well except when I become jealous of people who have siblings. 

I recently read an article from Literary Hub that expresses the need to love outside of marriage - the need to take care of relationships outside of marriage - as just as important as marriage itself. I do not disagree. But there's a huge chunk in this article dedicated to holding sibling-ship up on a pedestal, above friendship, above sexual partners in romantic relationships, that gives me that sick feeling again. It's a sick feeling not looking down upon this, but instead filling me with a depth a sadness that only children and adults without biological siblings could understand. What is it that us only children are lacking without a sister or brother? What type of genetic comradery is there that we cannot fathom? What type of restraint? What is this relationship worth envying? Is it worth envying in the first place?


Here's the article: https://lithub.com/marriage-isnt-the-only-plot-for-love/

- F

P.S. These "notes" are mostly a reference for me for later, should I decide to take up the subject and write further.