Ancient Greek Words for Love

When you think of the word love, what do you think of? What images come to your mind? Who do you think of? How does word the love make you feel when you hear it? 

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When I think of the word love, an almost impossible amount of emotions arise within me, as well as an almost impossible amount of images and relationships I do or don't have with certain persons, animals, and even objects. I might feel hurt when I hear the word love while thinking of an ex-boyfriend. Or happy when I hear it while thinking of my husband. Or I might feel protective when I hear it while thinking of my cat. And so on. What about you?

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But the very first thing that happens when I think of love or hear the word love is a physical emotion full of meaning... and although that is very abstract (conceptual: not tangible) and complex (not simple, but difficult), the Ancient Greeks actually used a handful of different words that mean love. I think that's pretty cool and helpful, and helps give us the nuance (not reductive, but able to hold multiple meanings) to understand what's going on with us when we use the term love and more importantly, when we use it to describe what we are feeling towards something. 

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Before I parse out the words for love used by the Ancient Greeks, there are some things I'd like to share with you and that I think you should know about the Ancient Greek people to help you understand a bit about context (the social, historical, political, environmental, et. al circumstances that shape a particular time and place). 

(Ancient Greece is where our notion of Western philosophy starts. When the word "Western" is used in social science and history, we immediately are referring to a dividing of two different systems of thought. Diverging from Western, Eastern is the other end of the spectrum. Most of the time, when we say something like "Western" philosophy, we mean Europe and the U.S. and the origins of their idea of the "present": for example,  Western philosophy is in part founded on the ideas of a philosopher named Plato who wrote a very famous book titled "The Republic" (reflecting the West's current political sphere). More on this in a later post.)

I recommend reading this entire encyclopedia article about Ancient Greece which sums up a very basic notion of what we are talking about when we try to unravel the ideas of love the people who lived then and there articulated: https://www.ancient.eu/greece/

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Ancient Greek Words for Love

(definitions paraphrased from the Oxford English Dictionary, online edition, however, much of my own interpretation for comparison to other similar definitions)

• Agápe: (noun) charitable love, love that requires nothing in return, love that shares, an open love for others and community. Note: think in comparison to the adjective agape: something that is wide open, gaping. 
• Éros: sexual, passionate love. Associated with the God of Love (in whatever form) such as Cupid (think of Cupid's arrow). The kind of love associated with sexual pleasure and procreation. I would add that Eros is sometimes unreasonable, as its emotional quality seems to take over the mind leading towards something like obsession, or being obsessed.
• Philia: the love shared between two or more people or things that respect each other/one another. Philia is a bond that is most times intellectual (of the mind) or, when a strong sense of empathy is shared. Keep in mind: the word philosophy (you can notice the root Philia) means love of wisdom. Think of best friends or simply, friendship.
• Storge: familial love, patriotic love, a feeling similar to deep pride or the urge to deeply protect. The kind of love shared between parents and children/parent and child. 
• Philautia: self-love. Positives: regarding oneself worthy of the best kind of self-care and acting accordingly... negative connotation: narcissism. See the root again here: phil 
• Xenia: generosity and hospitality to guests or those not part of the regular day-to-day, "normal" circumstances: inviting comfort to whosoever might need to join a particular grouping coming from an outside source... for ex. having an unfamiliar person come to your home and being warm and welcoming to said person. Interestingly, this word is more commonly used now to denote how pollen works when arriving on a plant structure that usually doesn't receive said pollen - it is now a word used in botany - not so much to describe human relationships with one another is it did in Ancient Greece. 
• Pragma
• Ludus

The last two have been mentioned here and there but are not found in the Oxford English Dictionary, so I kept from providing a definition of those. Though I will be researching those two last terms further in the coming days and you should too: they might provide us with insight into the roots of other words we encounter every day.

The whole purpose of this post is to show you the multi-faceted aspects of love as articulated by the Ancient Greeks. I'd like to make sure to say that these Ancient Greek terms are not defined here as hard and fast rules on how to understand this ever changing and complex subject matter, that these words are not mutually exclusive, and that these words are meant to aid us in coming to understanding feelings that can be difficult, scary, beautiful, and overwhelming, and wonderful. 

Please let me know if you need any further resources on this topic!

- F